I was born with feelings that swallowed me whole and continued to digest me for life. It was as if I was on the edge of something disastrous and with every step I was headed straight for a cavern of darkness… or light,

of which I really wasn’t sure, but I knew I was about to plummet

Pain was waiting for me

And yet…

I walked with a welcoming bounce in my step, like one would walk briskly, retreating from a fast falling rain to a party where an old friend eagerly waits for you – drink in hand. 

At times, I ran like my life depended on it. Because I believed it did. 

I ran to where the pain was coming from because that meant an end to the throbbing pulse of

[[numb]] [[numb]] [[numb]]

Here I was waiting – 

anticipating the next ache 

just so I could

{{feel…}}

{{feel…}}

{{feel…}}

{{feel…}}

And I felt everything